fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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