I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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