watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
