On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
