Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
