I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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