Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.