If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.