these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
