How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...