Buhtt sex?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
