apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
