just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
zippers are such a cool invention
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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