I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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