could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
