WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
