what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
