In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
