Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
