Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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