when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
