as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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