My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
