I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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