Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
