Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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