I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize