thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
