Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize