I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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