I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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