She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
operation harelip BJ is a go
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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