This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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