And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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