thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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