we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
