dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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