why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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