In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize