Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
