I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize