it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fuck me I smell like cheese
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
