okay pat passed out under dana's car
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize