I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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