when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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