10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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