Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
