wanna go halves on a baby?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
