that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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