i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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