dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
