Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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