why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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