In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
