I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
