Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
