We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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