I just pynch a tree in the face
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
