I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
