saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
